September 16, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 16, 2014

I regret not realizing earlier that I'm not as smart as I think I am. I wasted a lot of good advice and endured a lot of painful experiences because I didn't listen to those who traveled this road before me. I'm grateful for the experiences that have shaped who I am, but I regret not helping myself out by trusting the wisdom of others. Female, 26

September 15, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 15, 2014

I deeply regret letting my vet guilt me into putting my beloved cat to "sleep" when I only took him in for blood work that day. Yes, he was chronically ill, and yes, maybe he was dying, but he did not want to be put down, and I did not want to put him down, and the vet bulldozed me when I was exhausted and stressed and used my love for him against me.

I wish to God I could have a do over. But I cannot. I have to live with the feeling I betrayed my poor pet who loved and trusted me.

September 14, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 14, 2014

I regret encouraging my teenager to have an abortion at age 17. I was afraid of what people would think (who cares) I was afraid her life would have been ruined (we would have managed) Not a single day goes by that I don't think of it and wish we had not done it. It was a mutual decision but I can't help but bare all the responsibility on my conscience. Female 40

September 13, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 13, 2014

I regret not being there for my ex-husband. Even though we had been divorced for 5 years we had a great relationship. We both had a love for eachother that no one could take from us. He gave me two beautiful sons and for that I will never always be greatful. the last time I saw him alive was one Saturday morning in April of 1995. He had stayed at my house to be with the kids. I allowed this because I didn't let him have the kids that much. He had a drug problem and I knew he was using again. He spent the night and had a great time with the kids but in the morning I told him I planned on moving out of state to persue my own relationship I had with a man long distant for 3 years. He was overwhelmed as you can imagine by this and begged me not to take his sons away. This one time I stood my ground and was not going to let him dictate the rest of my life. I had always been there for him and now I wanted this for me and my sons. A new life with stability of two parents in the home. I didn't hear from him for several days which I didn't think was abnormal because I knew he was upset and I figured he was trying to get used to the idea. On the following Thurday I received a call from his parents asking me if I had heard from him, he had not showed up for work for several days. I knew in my gut that something was terribly wrong. I knew where he was headed after he left my place so for some reason I went there and starting asking everyone I saw if they had seen him. People on the street thought I was crazy when I showed them a picture of him and asked "have you seen this person". I searched throughout the weekend and actually had a guy in a bar tell me he remembered him from the week before. He was alone and drinking bacardi and coke. That was his drink so I found it crediable. On that Monday my girlfriend called me and asked if I had heard about the body that was brought to shore by a surfer. I immediately called the police department in that area to find out more. After a short dicussion he told me to contact the medical examiner. I did and within 15 minutes and he told me he was sure it was him by the tattoos on his arm. A positive identification would happen after I supplied dental records.

Everyday I blame myself and wonder if I had not told him of my plans to leave would he be alive today. I had always been there for him no matter what and at his most difficult time I was only thinking of my happiness. My sons have had a difficult time wondering what happened to their Dad. My oldest son struggles the most and my younger smokes pot and drinks sometimes in excess. They miss their Dad so much. I miss him too. He died at the age of 34. Don't know if he committed suicide or met with foul play. No answers to so many questions and now I have to live with "What if". It is a terrible burden I have carried for all these years. I can only hope he is resting in peace.

Female 50 Minnesota

September 12, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 12, 2014

I have two major regrets.

The first, is saving my mother after her attempted suicide because she turned into a vindictive, controlling bitch. I found her nearly dead and if I could do it over, I would walk away.

My second regret is not choking the life out of my wife, the first time I caught her cheating.

Although she keeps promising to "never do it again", she steps out at the very next opportunity.

The last time was with my best friend so I am done with her for good, but I could have prevented a lot of heart ache, had I gone with my gut, years ago.

September 11, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 11, 2014

I regret marrying you. You had already been married before and had a child. Your ex gets all of our money for child support which makes it impossible for us to support our own 2 children without being on state assistance even though we both work full time. Your ex re-married and had other children and drives an $80,000 car and owns a huge gated house but the state still sees her as someone who needs thousands extra a month in child support. She takes her kids on huge vacations every couple months and gets to stay at home with her kids. I'm missing out on giving my children a good life and how I envisioned my life being all because we only end up having enough money at the end of the month to pay bills. We will never be able to buy a house. I wish I would have questioned more before we got married so I would of actually known what I was getting into. When my dad told me not to get involved with you solely because you already had a child, I thought he was being petty. I now realize he was just trying to protect me since he himself was a step parent. I wish I would of listened to my dad.

Female, 25

September 10, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 10, 2014

Dear KRM,

I regret the fact that your life was cut short. I regret the fact that I never got to know you. I regret the fact that the last person you had to see was the person that raped and murdered you. I regret the fact that 25 years later that person is still free and living their life like they never committed a crime, still at large, your case unsolved, a mystery. Every path we take is a dead end. I regret the fact that you were taken from a family that loved you with all their hearts. I'm just like you they tell me. I guess a little piece of you came to me that night and you live on through me. I wish I would have had the chance to know you as my aunt. 11 months old I was when you were taken, and just after my 1st birthday I carried your pictures around with me and there they have been ever since.

I regret the fact that you are in fact gone and I will never know you personally. I love you. Please help me to solve your case, in some way, speak to me and tell me what to do.

F/26

September 9, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 9, 2014

I regret getting an abortion when I was 16 (I am now 52).My dear child you would now be 36, you would call me and tell me about the grandchildren,you would know and love your brother and sisters, you would ask my advice about life, we would hug every day,my heart would not be broken because I took your life.My faith in Almighty God carries me through life and I know that your sweet soul was in heaven the very second that you died.Forgive me sweet baby. I love you. Mama

September 8, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 8, 2014

I regret turning inside for comfort and understanding while seeking out positive feedback and acknowledgement. At a young age this was my escape method. It was a good survival tactic at the time. As I've gotten older though, I don't like what it's made me. I have become a people pleaser to avoid needing an escape and at other times am empathetic. Very judgmental and at times callous. Bending over backwards and saying "yes" while I'm screaming "no!" in my head. Now I find myself turning inward very deeply. I do what is "expected" but I am in a play. I create the script and ensure that there are no slip-ups. When there are, I freak out. Scream, cry, get infuriated. Whatever emotion the slip leads to, I foster it, but inside my head. I don't talk about it, I don't say a word. When I am physically exhausted my mind lets it go and I go back to "normal".

I wish I could truly teach myself a new method of coping. This is not a defensive tactic anymore. It just makes me feel a low sense of self worth and very lonely.

Female-28

September 7, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: September 7, 2014

I regret working for a company that made me sick and traumatized