July 31, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 31, 2014

I deeply regret speaking to another man, when I thought you didn't love me, you wouldn't listen too me, talk to me and weren't there for me, I wish you'd understand even though the messages at times were flirty nothing happened, not even a peck on the cheek, no hugs, nothing. I am sorry I went running with a male friend on holiday. I'm sorry I hurt you, I wish we'd spoke sooner and I'd made you listen too me instead of it getting like this, the constant arguing and bringing it up isn't helping. You cut me off my social networks and I'm doing everything possible to make this work, I feel how I did before, unloved, alone and like I have no one in this world. I'm deeply sorry, I wish you could just accept that, you've messed up in the past with another partner and did things. Too me what I did was wrong, I understand and accept that. I regret bring stupid

July 30, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 30, 2014

I regret not seeing myself for the abusive alcoholic husband that I was for 12 1/2 years during our marriage. Now that we are divorcing and me coming up on a year sober and without you, hindsight is 20/20 I guess. You are simply the best thing that has ever came into my life. I miss you every minute of every day. When we text each other about visitation with our daughter, I am mean to you because you are to me but I really just want to find the words to bring you back to me. My life has changed so much in the last 9 months. I was miserable in my alcoholic stupor and I made you and our little girl miserable too. I will never find the words to be able to make that right with you. People say you only find one true soulmate and it was you Barbara. I tried getting sober for you. That didn't work. I had to just get sick and tired enough to not want that life anymore. I finally did. I guess its too late for us but overall my life is much better now. I am the person now who I so desperately wanted to be for you and our daughter. I look in the mirror now for the first time in 20 years. The thing is that you never even really met the real me. in all, we were together 17 years and I have been drinking 20. i hope you forgive me one day. I fully intend to ask for your hand again when we get to Heaven. I hope you say yes. Until then, my broken heart full of guilt and shame will be missing you.

July 29, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 29, 2014

I regret becoming rich and successful and having an affair with your friend of 10 years and 3 other women. I regret that you had an affair with a man who has the same name as me. I regret we unintentionally gave each other STI's. I regret that you lied to me and blamed me during an attempted reconciliation. I regret that I made out with a friend at my high school reunion after all the lies and blame because I felt I had nothing to lose. I think when you get back from your parents you will leave me and I understand. Yet, I do think there is some love between us and believe I'm now willing to try regardless of the past and let go of anger and pain. I hope a beautiful phoenix can rise from the ashes of this emotional holocaust but I think we are both too human and frail sometimes to make it work. I hope to read this in a years time and still be married, trying to work things out. I miss you, I miss me, I miss us.

July 28, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 28, 2014

I regret not calling the cops on you ever, but especially for the time you physically attacked my teenager daughter on the day I found out she was a drug user. I regret that I took her out of my home to keep her safe, instead of having you hauled out like you deserved. I regret I allowed you to sow doubt about the veracity of her story because she was a drug addict. I regret I ever allowed you around my children, and I regret I didn't ensure you had a police record as a batterer before you got involved with the woman you're dating now, who has an innocent 7 year old I regret my failure to protect my children and other women and children from an entitled, self-delusional, lying, narcissistic, abusive monster.

July 25, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 25, 2014

I don't regret loving you. But I regret never telling you I loved you. Now you've graduated, and you're going away to college. To a city I can't reach you. I know that you never loved me back. I know you would never love me at all. But I regret not telling you. Because now I'm here thinking of all the what ifs. What if I told you? What if I never pushed you away? But I know now.. I know it's the end of this story. That I'll never talk to you or see you again. And it hurts because I can't let go of you even though I know no matter how much I want you I'll never get you. I regret loving you even after you told me you weren't into girls younger than you. And I know I'm too young to say I've been in love. But I can't believe I'm not. I've been loving you for 3 years. I regret spending so much time loving you.. But never telling you anything
15 Female

July 24, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 24, 2014

I have two major regrets:

1. When I was 15 I told a girl I loved her so I could have sex. She was a sweet, beautiful person that I used. The most selfish act any man can do.

2. I regret bullying people physically and with words when I was in middle school.

I pray for forgiveness and that God would bless the people I hurt. I also have spent much of my life trying to help people like those I hurt decades ago. I wish I could find those people I hurt and tell them I am sorry and somehow help them. When we are young we can be selfish and hurtful.

July 23, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 23, 2014

I regret settling for you when it is clear that I am capable of so so so much more. I regret letting you hold me back. I regret the vows by which I promised live, and I regret that I won't allow myself to break them.

July 22, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 22, 2014

I regret every day I have lived since you died. I regret the times I clung to you as I loved you so much that I think you used alcohol to escape. I regret letting you go, I thought I was being brave and letting you spread your wings. I now spend my life crying as I now feel I letyou go because I couldn't cope with the drinking,, how selfish was that. I let you down when you needed help. What if you drank as I was a shy quiet thing and you needed a more social person, what if I made your life too small. Mostly I regret that I can't change anything and will spend the rest of my life without you. The guilt is overwhelming. Oh Nigel please forgive me as I can't forgive me.

July 21, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 21. 2014

I regret loving a man who cannot love me back. Who used me and lied to me and told me I was perfect. I regret believing him and making myself a new future. I regret the betrayal of my husband, the man who has stood by me for 30 years and loves me unconditionally. The man who does so much for me and our 5 children. I regret meeting someone who made me feel 'that spark' .That spark that I can never have with my husband. I regret finding out we don't have 'chemistry', that I love him as a friend and not a lover. I regret being 48 ... too late for me to start again.

July 20, 2014

SECRET REGRET OF THE DAY: July 20, 2014

I regret nothing.

I would not be who am I today without my past flaws that have changed and shaped me into who I am today, which makes me even more grateful and thankful than ever.

I'm constantly growing spiritually, especially with my life partner. No one and nothing can or will stand in the way of this.

This is sometimes hated by others and/or causes jealousy.
They can't understand a true, supporting love. They don't have it so they don't want to see it.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
Buddha